Sunday, November 8, 2020



Thank the goddess, I get to replace my #resist header! I know it's not over and we still have approximately 11 weeks before President Biden and VP Harris are actually in the White House. I imagine the next few weeks will be messy, but maybe I'm wrong, and instead of getting violent, the Magats will slink away and do nothing more than pout. Fingers crossed. 

Monday, October 19, 2020

Six Month Check-In (Or is it the Seventh...or Eighth? Hell, I Don't Even Know Anymore)

This week The New York Times published an article about Pandemic Fatigue. It was interesting, and definitely something I’ve witnessed in the population around me. The article discusses the replacing of the fear that many people felt in the Spring with the fatigue that results from living with continual upheaval. I live in a corner of the country where much of the population has decided they’re done with it, and they are ignoring the recommendations. No masks or social distancing for them!

What I think we’ll see in the coming years will be various forms of PTSD. Some will continue to be introverts that are never comfortable in crowds or groups. People that were border-line hypochondriacs will continue to worry about every cough, every fever.

And then there will be the hoarders.

My grandparents were adults during the Great Depression with a passel of kids to feed and clothe, and as a result, my grandmother became a bit of a hoarder. She stuffed the toys she crocheted with old hose and bread bags. She saved every butter dish and every scrap of material. 

I see that in myself, only with food. I keep buying things that we normally don’t use– fruit cups and juice drinks, canned meat, dry milk– all because I fear fresh fruit and juice, meat and milk, will become scarce. And my freezer is full. It’s enough food to feed the three of us for two months or more, and yet I still keep buying. I’m running out of room.

I know it’s because I work in a grocery store and I see each week what we aren’t getting and the rumors of what we might not get in the next few months. But there comes a point when I need to stop. And still, I buy.

I want to believe, a year from now, this will be behind us and we can get back to normal. But I have to wonder how many of us won’t be able to.


Wednesday, July 15, 2020

Around the House #4

Not all of my favorite things are in my house. Some of them are outside. 

When we bought our house 21 years ago, there were no trees in the yard. Apparently, the previous owners didn't like to rake? Or didn't like shade? Who knows. So I went a bit crazy and planted a half-dozen, thinking that some of them I'd bought were "smaller" trees. 

I was wrong.

They've turned into big trees, all. But my favorite is this Mimosa that I actually brought from our old house. It was nothing more than a twig when I dug it up and now it reaches over our two-story. It's in full bloom right now and it smells like a perfume factory--almost overbearingly so. But it attracts hummingbirds and there are violets growing in the cleft where the trunk divides. Which is why it's one of my favorite things!

Monday, July 6, 2020

Cats on a Shelf

We have a fence around our back yard, partly because of the neighbors, and partly because we have a pool. But we weren't thinking when we put it up-- my garden is on the other side. Which meant I had to walk all of the way around to get to the garden. Yup, poor planning on our part. Anyway, my husband put in a gate last summer and built a little shelf on it. I didn't even notice, which shows how observent I am. But the cats did. We have a bit of a cat problem in our neighborhood-- namely a Momma Cat that is very prolific. (I really should dig up some money and take her for a little trip) 

Needless to say, this a daily occurance. The particular cats just change from time to time. 

Thursday, June 11, 2020

Gnarly! Like, Fer Sure!

Raybeard wrote a post about the removal of Gone with the Wind from HBO Max. I’m not going to repeat what he wrote. Here’s the link if you would like to read it. I’m not even going to comment on the movie because honestly, I’ve never watched it. Nor have I read the book. I have no interest in them. But it did get me to thinking.
For context: I hit my teens in the late 70s. I grew up in an all-white area in the USA mid-west Bible Belt. I was a typical kid. I drank a little, I smoked occasionally, I had a great group of friends. We “cruised” on Friday and Saturday nights, bowled, played arcade games, and went to the movie theater. Although I considered myself to be the "hippy" of the group, interested in the women's movement and civil rights, I'm not sure my awareness of the wider world came until college. (I'm pretty sure it wasn't until college that I added gay rights to that list, simply because I didn't know.) 
Fast forward to 2020. About two and a half months ago we fired up the VHS player and started rewatching some old Dr. Who we had. And then we dug through our collection and continued watching these old movies that we thought were brilliant back in the 80s and 90s. Alien and The Thing and Jurassic Park. And two weeks ago, we dug out some teen movies from the 80s. Valley Girl, Sweet Sixteen, and Fast Times at Ridgemont High. There were parts I still thought were funny, but oh, my, have they not aged well.

Fast Times At Ridgemont High (1982) - Rotten Tomatoes

Would I recommend them to a young person today? Not unless they asked specifically for an example of something problematic. But I think they’re important for that very reason. The things I didn’t notice when I was 20 that jump out at me now show me that I’ve grown, that I’ve paid attention and become a better person. And some movies, like Gone with the Wind, show a snapshot of our history. We need to have that, something tangible that we can judge ourselves on. It’s one thing for me to tell my kids and the young people I work with “this is how it was when I was your age” but it’s another for them to see it, to hopefully learn something about my generation from it. If nothing else, it’s a place to start a discussion.
One thing that surprised me as we’ve been doing our nostalgia viewing—WKRP in Cincinnati actually held up pretty well. There are a few episodes that weren’t so great, but it’s amazing how many issues that were featured on that show are relevant once again. If anyone doesn’t believe the current administration hasn’t pushed us back decades, I think the proof is in the viewing!

Thursday, June 4, 2020

While The World Burns...

I went for a walk yesterday because I realized I hadn't taken so much as a step ouside our yard in a week--haven't even wanted to. If I didn't occasionally need to go to the store or the bank, I could happily never leave the property. I hope this fades, especially when  the time comes for me to go back to work. Except, there's this little voice that keeps whispering "if you go back to work". Which, unless some rich relative I don't know about dies and leaves me money, isn't possible. This leave-of-absence really is meant to be a temporary thing. Last week I went into the grocery store where I've worked for 22 years and was surprised by how much I missed it. And for about ten minutes I considered going back part time. But... I have no filter. The boss would have to fire me within the first week. So, I guess I'll stay home a tad longer and watch my roses bloom. 

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Life in a Bubble

Image may contain: possible text that says 'hate when people ask me what did yesterday. don't know, I breathed a lot. Probably got mad at something... Sighed heavily. The list goes on.'

This feels pretty spot-on. I started my "leave of absence" full of energy. For the first three weeks, I caught up on some cleaning that really needed doing. And there was plenty of writing and editing work to keep me occupied. Plus, there was the Working Stiffs release that I was devoting time to.


It got cold again. And Facebook is full of scared, confused people. But it's my lifeline to people I care about, so I can't not get on it. And the world started to feel heavy. And I've found out I really need my days to be scheduled. I'm almost amazed that a part of me misses work. I miss my friends. I halfway entertained going back--at least a few hours a day. But I know if I do I'll end up right back where I was at the end of March. Chest pains and anxiety. Physically, I'm so much better now. Mentally, I'm struggling. And I know this will pass. 


Or so I keep telling myself.