"If My Son Were Gay"

I found this on Tumblr this morning and really liked it, so I thought I would share.

“If my son were gay,
I’d slap him
With a nice high five.
Because coming out to your dad,
Takes balls that most men don’t have.
If my son were gay,
I’d beat the hell out of him.
Because he said he was better than me
At Super Smash.
(He basically was asking
For me to kick his ass.)
If my son were gay,
I’d kick him out of the house.
Because why waste June on video games,
When there are sports to be played?
And just because he likes making out with boys,
Doesn’t mean he can’t tackle the shit out of them, too.
If my son were gay,
I’d call him a douche.
But only because this morning,
He ate the last peanut butter cup in the house.
(The jerk knows they’re my favorite.)
If my son were gay,
I’d still give him the talk.
I just wouldn’t have to worry about a baby in nine months.
If my son were gay,
I’d make fun of what he wears.
Because damn, son,
Those heels don’t go with that dress.
If my son were gay,
I’d tell him to be proud.
Because you’re human no matter the gender
On the other side of your mouth.
If my son were gay,
Nothing would be different at all.
Except that twenty years down the line,
I’ll be expecting a handsome son-in-law.”

—	"If My Son Were Gay" - Nishat Ahmed (via sickwithsyllables)

All In A Day's Work

Customer swipes debit card.
Me: I'm sorry, but it comes up insufficient funds.
Customer: That's strange. There should be enough in the account. Should I swipe it again?
Me: Only if you think something has changed in the last 30 seconds.

Morning Coffee

The cats have all been spending the majority of their time outside, but it's been raining all morning and they have all decided it's just too damp for any respectable cat to tolerate. So they are tucked into corners through out the house!

Name Games

I don't know if I'm going through the fabled "mid-life" crisis, or I'm just going a bit mental, but I've not been happy with my life the way it has been the last few years and I waver between totally separating myself from the situation or just making small changes. It seems the small changes are winning, and I find that the "small changes" reflect my much younger self to an extent. The weight loss for one (I've lost 25 pounds! It's amazing how much better I feel!), I'm drawing again, I'm listening to (new to me) music, I'm getting out with my friends occasionally, doing some funky things with my clothes, hair, nail enamel and makeup. And seriously considering changing my name. Not drastically. Just the spelling, really. I mentioned in a past post that people call me Sara, which isn't my name. My first name is actually Sara'Ann, but people can't seem to comprehend that Ann isn't my middle name. My Mom really didn't know what she was doing to me when she named me this. The problems I have had my whole life. She definitely couldn't have foreseen this computerized world we live in. Computers don't like my name. Sometimes I type it and hit enter and it comes up Sara#@&Ann, which is cartoon-speak for SaraDamnFuckingBitchAnn! What I would like to change it to is simply Saran. In fact, to a small amount, I've started using it.  I advise pregnant women, if the subject comes up, to not give their child a strange name or use a strange spelling. It will follow them for the rest of their life. The funny thing, going back to my younger self--there was a time when I had a bit of a split personality, for a period between my late teens and mid twenties. There was the sweet, nice, respectable girl named Sara'Ann and then there was the party girl who was into sex, drugs and rock-n-roll. She was Sara. And I could switch off between the two in an instant. I had two circles of people in my life and the people who knew one personality wouldn't have recognized the other. When I was in one personality I didn't like being called by the other name. I suppose it's a bit like someone calling you by your sibling's name. When I started this blog I was in a rather dark place and my goal was to only put in things I found positive in my life, just to remind myself that there was positive things, I just wasn't seeing them. I don't know what's going to happen in the next year, but I'm setting myself some new goals, giving myself a new name, and considering it a new start!

(The picture, altho not the one I wanted 'cos I can't find it, is Sara. You can tell because of all the liquor on the table!)

Garden Blahs

Somehow, after all of the cold weather and rain we've had this Spring, warm weather finally popped. And so has the flowers, and the grass, and the trees. My allergies haven't hit as hard this year, at least not yet. My worst time is usually when the cottonwoods start dropping their little cotton wads. That should be soon. I'm having a hard time getting interested in gardening this year. Maybe because it's just so late. I usually have my flower beds cleaned up by now, and new plants in the ground. We did manage to get the garden tilled and I got most of it planted over the weekend, but again, I'm not really interested in it. I was about 6 weeks ago, when I normally would have started. Some how, during the delay, I mentally just moved on! Maybe, when the seedlings start coming up, I'll get interested again. I had every intention of cleaning out one of the flower beds and making it into an herb garden, but it's so overgrown now (it's full of perennials)  that I think it'll wait until next year. On the up side, my daughter got home over the weekend and she doesn't know how long she is staying, so I guess I just want to spend my time with her!

Yikes!

Hard to do when you are surrounded by them! (Especially when they live in the same house.) But I try my best to stay "unaffected"!

HA!

Except it lasted more than 2 minutes. Thank goodness I'm over it!