I went to a funeral today. I didn't cry. Somehow, through the whole service I felt a bit disconnected. The deceased was a second cousin who was like an Uncle to me. I loved him dearly. I left the Church several years back. I was never a good Christian--always questioning things. It just never made sense to me. I come from a strongly religious family, but somehow, the fervor missed me. I sat there, looking around at the wood and the colored windows and thought how lovely the room was--I'm sure it would be a wonderful place to visit when seeking solitude. The preacher mentioned the "mystery of death" and I thought "shouldn't that be the mystery of life?" Another, younger, cousin played the guitar and sang "The Old Rugged Cross", a song that always brought tears to my eyes at funerals, and still nothing. Actually, he did a lovely job and for a moment I wanted to clap. The preacher made some golf jokes and we sang "What A Friend We Have In Jesus". I surprising remember most of the words. And it was over. And still this disconnect. For some reason, I miss Communion. I grew up Presbyterian and was a Deaconess. Communion was special to me. But I don't miss the rest of it. I find it odd.
1 comment:
Also not a big church person :-)
Best wedding was my brother's. On top of Strawberry Hill in Golden Gate Park. The bride's grandmother flagged down a police car and had him drive her to the top with lights rotating (nobody knew, ahead of time, that we could not drive older people up). Second best moment when the rabbi put the wine glass under the cloth for my brother to crush all the little kids were allowed to gather around to hear it go CRUNCH.
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